Welcome to this episode of Jack Chat and another tiny lesson in leadership, straight up.
Today… I have a gift for you. It’s a conversation framework for addressing inappropriate behavior. Let’s explore the framework using the concept of chapters in a book.
Chapter 1: Be curious. Don’t assume you know what’s going on with the other person.
“Hi Bernice. I’d like to discuss the situation when you abruptly left our meeting with the sales team and slammed the door behind you. I’m curious what led you to do that?”
Chapter 2: Be empathetic. No sugar-coating or condemning, just acknowledgment.
“It’s understandable you were frustrated. Differing opinions about complicated problems can cause tensions to rise. That’s reality. It’s normal.”
Chapter 3: Be clear. Don’t get wishy-washy about what’s not okay.
“What’s not okay, Bernice, is to suddenly leave the meeting and slam the door behind you, even if you’re really frustrated.”
Chapter 4: Believe in others.
“I know you’re capable of dealing with frustration in a more appropriate way. What would be a better way to handle your frustration in the future?”
And they all lived happily ever after.
Just kidding. I don’t actually live in a fairy tale. It’s rarely that simple. People are messy and the conversation is unlikely to play out that neatly. This framework just gives you the key elements of the conversation:
- Begin with curiosity,
- Express empathy for the feelings that led to the behavior,
- Be clear about what’s not okay,
- Believe the other person is capable of doing what it takes to improve.
Here’s some questions to help you reflect on this framework:
- What is most challenging about this framework for me?
- How does this framework help me think differently about addressing inappropriate behavior?
- How might it be useful for more subtle performance issues?
Give those questions some thought…and join me again for another chat!