Stop Fixing Everything. Your team will thank you.
Let’s talk about strength in leadership — and why it’s often not what you think.
Most leaders believe that strength means having answers, taking control, and fixing problems. But what if the real strength lies in doing the exact opposite? What if strong leadership is more about pausing, listening, and creating space for others — even when it feels counterproductive?
When “Helping” Doesn’t Help
Here’s a familiar scenario:
A team member comes to you with a problem. Your instinct? Jump in and fix it. After all, strong leaders solve problems, right?
Wrong.
The strongest leaders know when to hold back. Instead of offering quick solutions, they listen. They acknowledge the frustration or confusion. They validate the experience — without immediately trying to “fix” it.
It feels weird, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t you do something to help?
Actually, no. The best leaders know that being present and creating space for others to process is often more powerful than any advice you can give.
Dealing with Whiners (and Why You Shouldn’t Shut Them Down Right Away)
Here’s another scenario:
An employee is whining. They’re stuck on a problem, complaining about things that can’t be changed. Your instinct?
“Stop whining and get back to work!”
Seems reasonable, right? Whining doesn’t solve problems. Seth Godin even calls it “empty commentary where no action is possible.”
But if you shut them down too quickly, you’ve missed an opportunity.
When someone whines, there’s usually something deeper behind it — disappointment, frustration, confusion. If you don’t allow space for those emotions, they’ll fester.
Counterintuitive leadership says:
✅ Listen for a moment.
✅ Acknowledge the emotion behind the complaint.
✅ Validate what they’re experiencing.
No, this doesn’t mean indulging endless whining. But if you make people feel heard — even briefly — you’ll build trust and move the conversation forward. Shut them down too quickly, and you’ve stalled progress.
Leadership Isn’t About Fixing. It’s About Seeing.
Leadership can be uncomfortable, especially during change. People experience loss when things shift, and that creates pain — disappointment, fear, resentment. Your instinct is to help people “move on.”
But moving on too quickly doesn’t work. Leaders need to sit with the discomfort and acknowledge what’s been lost before people are ready to move forward.
Think about it:
Have you ever been told to “get over it” before you were ready? Did it help? Probably not.
The strongest leaders are those who can:
💡 Sit with discomfort.
💡 Create space for emotions to be processed.
💡 Resist the urge to fix everything immediately.
When people feel seen and understood, they can process their emotions and move forward. That’s where true freedom comes from.
What’s the Big Takeaway?
If you want to be a strong leader, you need to rethink what strength looks like.
- Strength isn’t about fixing problems. It’s about creating space.
- Strength isn’t about judgment. It’s about curiosity.
- Strength isn’t about control. It’s about connection.
So next time your instinct tells you to fix, judge, or dismiss, pause.
Ask yourself: What would happen if I listened instead?
Chances are, you’ll see better results by doing less.
Want to learn more about becoming a counterintuitive leader?
We’ve got lots to say on this topic! Drop us a line at Slingshot25.com/contact.