Why Real Leadership Can’t Be Found in a Manual
At Slingshot25, we’ve been reflecting on leadership development and, more specifically, how it’s typically structured. If you’re like us, you’ve likely attended numerous leadership classes over the years focused on categories like giving feedback, building trust, or holding people accountable. These programs all have their own set of forms, checklists, and structures designed to help leaders perform these actions “correctly.” But here’s where it gets complicated: real leadership is far more nuanced than any single model or framework can capture.
Think of it this way—it’s like being a college student who has to carry around multiple textbooks, memorizing each lesson. At any moment, you might be expected to recall chapter seven, third paragraph, because you’re suddenly in a situation where that specific lesson might apply. That’s impossible, right? We don’t live in a world where leadership challenges show up perfectly aligned with neatly categorized chapters.
One of the most common questions we hear in our training sessions is, “What should I do when…?” And while we’d love to give a concrete, step-by-step answer, the reality is that context always matters. The “right” answer varies. But why do so many leaders ask for a manual? Because that’s how leadership has been taught—singularly focused, disciplined areas like giving feedback or having difficult conversations. They’ve learned to think there’s a script they need to follow.
We’ve even seen leadership programs that provide detailed breakdowns of nine types of difficult conversations. Nine! It’s hard enough to remember those in a calm setting, let alone in the heat of an actual tough conversation. And acronyms? Yes, they’re handy for organizing concepts, but they can also get in the way of authentic communication. Imagine sitting across from someone in a tense moment, trying to recall what each letter stands for in your acronym. You’re no longer fully present in the conversation, and trust—one of the most essential aspects of leadership—may take a hit.
Here’s the thing: leadership isn’t about memorizing formulas or models. These tools can be helpful in a classroom, but in the wild, they break down. As George Box famously said, “All models are wrong, but some are useful.” We agree with that—leadership models aren’t worthless, but they are incomplete. They can’t account for the messiness of real human interaction.
So what’s the answer? Should we throw out the models? No, but we should encourage leaders to go beyond them. The best leaders don’t rely on acronyms or step-by-step formulas. Instead, they take the lessons those tools offer and weave them into a more natural, human way of interacting with their teams. Leadership is about presence, authenticity, and understanding the unique needs of each moment.
If you’re feeling bogged down by leadership models, take a step back and ask yourself: What am I really learning from this? How can I incorporate these insights into a more authentic leadership style that works for me? Leadership isn’t about perfection or memorization—it’s about connection.
Let’s connect.
If you want to learn more about Slingshot25’s services and how we can support you through training, workshops and coaching, contact us at Slingshot25.com/contact or visit our website.