Five Minutes of Courage
At Slingshot25, we’ve been thinking a lot about courage—especially in the context of tough conversations. Whether it’s offering feedback or tackling uncomfortable topics, courage is often the missing link that transforms an anxious moment into a productive one. In fact, we recently hosted a webinar on this very subject, and one thing was clear: fear is the biggest obstacle to having those difficult conversations.
From fear of how the other person will react to feeling unprepared, many of us avoid necessary discussions. But what if all it took was five minutes of courage to break through?
Reframe Your Mindset
One of the first steps in gaining courage is to reframe how you think about giving feedback. We often view feedback as negative or confrontational, but can you flip that script? What if giving feedback is an act of care? If you genuinely want someone to improve or avoid repeating mistakes, it’s worth finding the courage to help them. When you’re coming from a place of care, it’s easier to muster the courage needed.
Outsource Your Anxiety
One of our favorite approaches is what we call “outsourcing your anxiety.” If you’re anxious about a conversation, don’t just stew in your nerves. Instead, channel that anxiety into preparation. Write down your thoughts, the points you want to cover, and possible outcomes. As Mark Twain famously said, “My life is full of tragedy, most of which never happened.” By preparing for the conversation, you reduce the mental stories and catastrophes your mind creates.
Prepare with Purpose
Preparation isn’t just about having talking points. It’s about getting clear on what you want from the conversation. Is it behavioral change? Improved performance? Avoiding unnecessary conflict? If you don’t have a clear objective, ask yourself whether the conversation even needs to happen. If it’s just to say, “I told you so,” reconsider. Meaningful feedback is about helping the person grow, not just airing grievances.
Take Multiple Perspectives
Before you walk into that tough conversation, take a walk around the problem by examining it from three perspectives:
- Yours – How are you feeling? What emotions are tied up in this for you? Be honest with yourself and confront your own stories.
- Theirs – Put yourself in their shoes. What might they be thinking or feeling about this issue? Anticipating their reactions can help you approach the conversation with empathy.
- The Fly on the Wall – How would a neutral third party view the situation? This perspective can dial down the drama and office politics, helping you see the problem more clearly.
Set the Tone
Once you’re prepared, focus on setting the tone for the conversation. Your opening line is the only part you can control, so make it count. Practice saying it aloud—whether to a pet or in the car—until it feels natural. This line should set a welcoming, open tone that invites dialogue.
Ready to Move Beyond the Fear?
At Slingshot25, we believe most tough conversations can be handled with five minutes of courage. As leadership expert Jack Canfield said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” If you want a healthier team, more trust, or simply to stop dealing with the same issue over and over, find those five minutes of courage and go have the conversation. You’ll be glad you did.
Build your courage muscle and join Slingshot25’s Tough Conversations course on Sept. 19 to build your skills to navigate ANY conversations with confidence.
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